Holidays and family events can be both joyous and stressful for both parents and children. If you have a child with special needs, these celebrations can become challenging. Here are some tips that may help you prepare for a not-so-stressful holiday season. They are tips that I learned over the years. I hope you find them helpful. 

Look at the Holidays through Your Child’s Eyes

What aspects of the holiday does your child enjoy? Many parents simply enjoy buying gifts for their child. However, too many gifts can be too stimulating for some children. When Ryan was two, I began the tradition that baby Jesus received three gifts for Christmas and so he would receive three gifts as well. Twenty-eight years later we still are following that tradition. The key to remember is to focus on what your child finds interesting. That is most important. As an example, clothes were never interesting to Ryan although I enjoyed buying them. 

Adapt an Advent Calendar 

Ryan and I often did a countdown which focused on the religious aspect of Christmas. I also prepared Ryan for visits with family and social outings by using social scripting. By creating a countdown and practicing expectations, Ryan was better prepared for the events. 

Decorate Throughout the House 

If your child is over stimulated by sensory experiences, you may wish to limit the number of decorations in one room and/or gradually decorate your home. Decorations are fun, but they are a change, and with change, can come anxiety. In our house, Ryan loved lots of decorations and continues to do so. We had snowmen inside, outside, and everywhere, an outdoor lighted Santa, wreaths, and of course, a large tree with lights and decorations. 

Keep it Simple 

Limit your schedule. When Ryan was about three years old, I noticed that he was quickly bored when visiting other’s homes, causing various behavioral challenges. At that point, I made visits shorter. We followed the same routine starting early around 4:30 p.m. and ending by 6:30 p.m. Talking to your family about your schedule and why you need to keep your visits short and structured will not only help you but allows them to understand. 

Two Cars are Better Than One  

By driving two cars (if possible) you can allow the other family members to remain at a family function or outing and you can leave early. This will alleviate your feelings of guilt and sadness. 

Be Aware of Repetitive Behaviors  

Keep an eye out for signs of anxiety. This could be the cause of an increase in your child’s repetitive behaviors. If you do see signs, know that your child’s anxiety is increasing and give your child a break. 

Bring a Favored Activity 

Whether it’s a toy, iPad or his favorite game, select something your child really enjoys and take it with you on your visits. This can create a comfort zone for your child and you amid the hustle and bustle of an event or outing. 

Attending Worship Services  

When Ryan was little, the Church or crowds at Church and unclear expectations seemed to trigger some behaviors. It was best for us to plan, sit with a friend and start a routine. Years later, we continue to maintain the same program. Every week, Ryan and I attend church. We sit in the same row near the back of the church. Prepare your child – go early to get a seat, perhaps at the end of the row. Taking a supportive friend or family member will allow your other children to remain in case you need to leave early. 

Relax and Laugh 

Take time to dwell on the possibilities of yesterday, today and tomorrow. Acknowledge and celebrate when things are going well for your child, yourself and for others. Gratitude strengthens hearts and minds. 

 I hope that your holiday season is full of encouragement and gratitude!